Journey to the West with Zach Braviette

Zach's not racist! On this episode, Levin and Levi are joined by comedian Zach Braviette to discuss the Chinese action-comedy, "Journey to the West: Conquering the Demons." A weird, kinda funny, kinda perverted movie that serves as prequel to the 16th century novel, "Journey to the West."

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:01

Welcome to the pod. You pick the movie. Look for a new name. You know what? It makes me we are looking for a new name.

SPEAKER_02 0:06

I might change the name as Levin Picks the movie because the amount of movies that we've been getting with these tweets.

SPEAKER_00 0:14

I've been so done, dude. Levin Picks the movie. No lights. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

That's a dim episode. We need a palette cleanser on this shit, dude. Fucking unbelievable, dude.

unknown 0:27

It's unbelievable.

SPEAKER_01 0:29

My poor roommates are sleeping right now. We're fucking loud. Sorry, Matt.

SPEAKER_06 0:34

Well, I picked the last time you guys had me. I don't know what happened to that episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:38

You know what, though? I think I found it. I found the card. Yeah. We did Elf, and that was that was justifiable. Yeah. That was a justifiable film.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Tell them. Do you look in that camera right now and tell them what movie you picked?

SPEAKER_06 0:51

So I picked the 2013 Chinese classic Journey to the West.

SPEAKER_02 0:57

Which, funny enough, I worked on the real one that has artistic integrity based on Buddhist principles. So did this one. And it was fun. Listen, they blew their load on the first 20 minutes of the freaking movie.

SPEAKER_06 1:14

Dude, the CGI of the first 20 minutes is the first time.

SPEAKER_02 1:17

And then it's like, I don't know, they went to India and they used it in India's because it's just it went to shit. It went to shit. And then they were on a lot. You could tell the fly system that they used, like the whole thing was a fly system. It was like you ever seen uh the fly like the fly system, like the wires.

SPEAKER_06 1:33

Oh, wasn't the fighting, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Did you think they actually jumped that high?

SPEAKER_06 1:36

No, I just didn't know what it was called.

SPEAKER_02 1:37

Yeah, it's a yeah, so they did a fly system. It's kind of like Crouching Tiger hidden tiger. Also amazing movie. That is actually a beautiful film. Yeah. This is just this is an amazing movie.

SPEAKER_06 1:51

Absolute garbage. Journey to the West is about a one man's journey. One homeless man's journey. Yeah, seriously, dude. To enlightenment and pussy.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Seriously, you summed it up.

unknown 2:07

That's exactly what the movie.

SPEAKER_02 2:09

But the chick wants his dick.

SPEAKER_05 2:12

You're missing one thing.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Like, yeah. We need to have rape in this. Oh no, the chick, the hit.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

That's so crazy.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

That's so crazy. That part. I don't understand that part of the movie. She came to get to the. Alright, hold on.

SPEAKER_06 2:27

How old are you when you saw this?

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 2:28

Alright, so I saw this maybe fuck five to seven years ago.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

Okay, you talk like it's like I saw this 20 years ago. It's five to seven. Okay. How old were you at that time? Because you're a kid.

SPEAKER_06 2:39

You're like, I was 25, 23, something like that.

SPEAKER_02 2:42

25, 23. How did you like you live in Nebraska? How'd this come to you?

SPEAKER_06 2:46

So me and my sister were hanging out for the holidays. We're both back in town, and it was late, and we're like, oh, let's just watch a movie and hang out.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Let's have sex. And I'm sorry. Shh.

SPEAKER_06 2:56

Not Alabama, all right. We're not the South.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Nebraska, Alabama seemed to be.

SPEAKER_06 3:02

Oh, whatever. You fucking fat faggots on the East Coast. Suck my dick. Oh, we're so much better than everyone. We don't even know how to fucking grow food. Yeah, dude. You guys would be so fucked without us.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

I've done I know how to do a tomato plant. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 3:16

You're gonna eat a tomato plant all year?

SPEAKER_02 3:18

Peppers. Yeah. Yeah. I'll stab you and eat you. How about that, huh?

SPEAKER_06 3:26

That's the thing. You little peace coast.

SPEAKER_03 3:28

Yeah, you little peace.

SPEAKER_06 3:32

That fight was cool too. Come on. And there's like the rake weapon.

SPEAKER_02 3:37

God. I wish I can't wait for Mortal Kombat. I'm gonna have to go watch that to get a pallid cleanser, actually. Yeah, because that movie's not gonna suck.

SPEAKER_05 3:44

It's gonna be wild, but I do want to get fucked up and see Mortal Kombat too.

SPEAKER_02 3:48

Dude, come on, dude. It's it's first off, and also it's like very nostalgic for us because it's like Mortal Kombat. Like I'll be a black woman in that theater with that.

SPEAKER_06 4:00

Very true. Oh, dude, this is something I learned about uh in my my trials of dating black women. Oh it's I'm done with that, by the way. I'm on the Asia now. We can tell.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Yeah, we know. Um I'm surprised you didn't come in with a kimono.

SPEAKER_06 4:18

Bro, there's this bang an Asian chick on the seven train when I was coming here. Well, you're on the right borough. Yeah, apparently I need to move here tomorrow. And I was like, oh, I should say something to her. But then at the same time, I was like no Zaxon, no Zaxon. Stay focused on the city.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

And uh your art. Have you seen this film? Journey to the West 2013 circle. On a journey.

SPEAKER_03 4:43

Journey.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

I was actually journaling journeying to the east to go to Queens for religious enlightenment and pussy. Yeah. Um, but hold on. So you're 25, your sister and you are hanging.

SPEAKER_06 4:55

Uh oh, the thing I was gonna say about black chick, sorry. Oh, yeah. It's not just movies that they talk through. Dude, it's podcasts. She would be reading a book and she would be talking during no way. While she's reading a book, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 5:10

Don't go in there.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Yeah. It's not just movies. I'm exp it's called expression. Yeah. I'm expressive like that. Yeah. Like when I poop, I yell. You yell while you shit. Get out of me! No, no, no. No, it's a joy.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

It's like a Randy's shitting. It's kind of Jess.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

I am kind of like yeah. Jess is Randy Marks in real life. Yeah, I do. I kind of when I burp, I let it loose and then I say excuse me immediately after. But I could not.

SPEAKER_06 5:48

I'd have to have a lot more fat off me before that happens, but no. I love you guys so much. This is a great way to start a Sunday morning.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

Racist. We hit everyone.

SPEAKER_06 6:01

Real quick.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

We did real quick. We haven't hit the Latinas yet. The Latinas was a shortcut.

SPEAKER_06 6:06

Well, the Latinas like being hit. That's how they show affection.

SPEAKER_02 6:08

Oh, they hit they hit you. Like they hit you, hit, and then they said it, forget it. Like they fuck you and leave you, or you hit?

SPEAKER_06 6:14

No, no, like they hit you.

SPEAKER_02 6:15

Oh, they hit you. Have you gotten hit by a Latina? Oh, duh. Have you really? Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_06 6:20

I don't think there's a white guy out there that hasn't dated a Latina that's been hit by. Have you been hit by a Latina? Dating a Latina. You're gonna get hit by Latina.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

Like really hard, like across the face, you're talking?

SPEAKER_06 6:30

Uh not like hard enough that it hurt because she's like a woman.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

Like when I hit, like I'm like like that. Yeah, but more.

SPEAKER_06 6:36

A little not like a full on I'm trying to fuck you up hit, but more than a friendly pat hit. Like uh, you know what I mean? Like, you're so stupid. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah, that's just the way it's like. It's like it's like a borderline, like, yo, are you trying to fight right now? You know what I mean? Like it's it's that level of aggression where it's like you're you're half a molecule away from my life.

SPEAKER_02 6:58

Christopher Columbus had this interaction and then things went haywire because they misunderstood as part of the cold acting. That's how Latinas flirt that's didn't know they were flirting. That's how they flirt. They're like, stop it.

SPEAKER_06 7:08

Like, oh really, now we're gonna conquer your whole country.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

All right, so you and your sister, so alright, so let's just say my sister definitely. You double Latinas, no more blacks, and you're doing Asians now. Well, I'm trying, but Asians are so picky, dude. Well, you got well, this is there's two Asians. You either get the ones that are like, you know, quiet, dorky, they're into Harry Potter, or like they're just it like a little like oh, like they're like dolls. Sure. Or you get the sexy ones that want to that want rich black men. You know? Yeah. Um we might have nothing to say about that. No, it's just you're neither of those. So good luck. Yeah, dude. I know, dude. I could see him all of a sudden getting into money, and then all of a sudden he completely changed. He's driving around Maseratis or some shit like that. Seriously, he's driving, he's driving down uh freaking out.

SPEAKER_06 7:57

Anyway, can you park my car?

SPEAKER_02 8:01

She parks in front of the Grizzly pair, light comes out of the car like this, pulls his arms in front of it. Fuck you for a dream.

SPEAKER_06 8:07

I'm rich and I'm still doing spots of the pair. Fuck.

SPEAKER_04 8:12

Well, talent can only go so far.

SPEAKER_05 8:16

It's Tuesday midnight.

SPEAKER_06 8:18

Yeah. I'm pulling up in a Maserati with my chains to a canceled Tuesday midnight.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Zachy B, big huge like gold letter B in front of him. Zachy's got chicks in the car. It's like Zachy right on, baby. I gotta go and make the crowd happy.

SPEAKER_06 8:36

Give the people what they want. Grizzly bear. And I'd start humping the stool. So what would happen if I got money? Yeah, we're for rogue. No, dude, I would turn into a fucking uh whatchamacallit? What's the big black comedy festival? No, no, no, no. I don't know what you're talking about. It's like the genre of comedy. Def Jam. I would turn into a def jam comic.

SPEAKER_02 9:01

You're having me say something bad. That's what he was trying to do. That was big you just made music say it.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Oh, you know the festival.

SPEAKER_06 9:17

Oh my god, this episode's wild. We haven't even talked about the movie are the room. Oh, I know. All right.

SPEAKER_02 9:23

All right, so back on track. Would you have a do-rag? Would he do that? Okay, so I would I could see another. Do rag easy, dude, right? Okay. I'm not gonna. Well, he's most wanted. You've had a do-rag.

SPEAKER_06 9:34

You could get it. I have had a do-rag, but I'll tell you this story.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

But wait, there's a story. It's just a story. It was for a cancer clinic. Yeah, me too. Yeah, yeah, totally, man.

SPEAKER_06 9:55

Oh, listen. So I uh I went through a phase where I um thought you were black. No. Uh well I did, but that was way earlier. That was sixth grade. This was uh when I was like in my early 20s and I started taking Adderall and working out a shit ton. I uh went through like a a Viking phase. You know, I feel like a white guy, they you have a phase where you connect with your white roots for a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 10:20

Yeah, well, they usually go over.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

That's what happens, that's what happens when it's usually yeah, yeah, Scotland. You get a clan. That's how it's going on here.

SPEAKER_03 10:36

One of my best friends is black, I swear to God.

SPEAKER_00 10:39

So, you know, with a time in my life, it happens. You know, you go to a field and you're in a cornfield and everyone's wearing white hoodies.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

You know, there's a burning cross, and you know, the next thing you know. Scottish what are you talking about?

SPEAKER_06 10:55

KKK, no.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

Oh god. Okay. God. All right, bagpipe McGee, what happened?

SPEAKER_06 11:03

So, you know, like uh, and I'm super Scandinavian, so I was like looking into that. I was getting really into it, and I got the fucking traditional ass Viking haircut. I shaved the sides of my head. No way. But I grew the top really long, and I did a braid down the top.

unknown 11:19

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 11:19

But I couldn't braid my own hair. I had to go to my hairstylist, who is a black lady, by the way, named Tammy.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Alright, great. And Tammy would braid my hair. That's so funny. You guys are black up there with Norwegian, like she did it tight.

SPEAKER_06 11:34

Yeah, yeah. She gave me, I'll I'll find a picture. Um and uh you're gonna have to send me that picture. Yeah, I will. But uh I couldn't do it myself. And if you sleep with the braid, it gets fucked up. So they put a rag on. So she was like, put a do-rag on when you sleep at night, and it'll keep your braid for longer. You were like, Yeah, just when I sleep.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Yeah, seriously, dude. That is funny all day.

SPEAKER_02 11:59

You're in the gym with the do-rag lifting fucking weights. Yeah, just keeping the doing. Dude, that's hysterical, though. I love like the the way that you have been, because you're from the middle of nowhere, yeah, and you're able to like reach different cultures just from your ridiculousness to just like randomness.

SPEAKER_06 12:19

My family, you would not believe it. We're actually diverse as shit. I've got um an Asian uncle, so my cousin is my best friend, is half Asian. Oh, is he? That's great. He's half Japanese. That's fun. I've got a black cousin. Wow. Right? Yeah, distant on my dad's side.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Well, in that case, we all know how that happened, huh?

SPEAKER_06 12:38

Not not that distant. I see him at family.

SPEAKER_02 12:40

Someone lost the plantation in the family line, huh?

SPEAKER_06 12:42

Um little Thomas Jefferson action. They got a little too close. Uh I've got a special needs cousin. Okay, that's that's in town.

SPEAKER_02 12:52

That's not a race.

SPEAKER_06 12:54

I'm talking about diversity. It's not just racial diversity. Yeah, doing the casting too, but like I've got two gays. Okay. Both women, so it's chill. But I need more gays in my family. Two lesbies. Very good. So we've got black, Asian, retarded, and gay.

SPEAKER_02 13:10

That's fantastic.

SPEAKER_06 13:11

It's like pretty diverse family for the Midwest.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

It's like the cast of that Dura Doraski, whatever that Canadian shit. Degrassi Degrassi. Degrassi. Degrassy. Degrassy. Degrassi. Okay. Well, I would get lesbians in Nebraska. That would make sense. Softball, we love softball. Yeah, you guys do like softball. That's a good movie. A lot of subaros.

SPEAKER_06 13:30

A lot of subaros. God damn.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

Okay, so alright, now we gotta go pod. Now we gotta talk about this piece of shit film that you all have made me.

SPEAKER_06 13:36

So me and my sister, she's back for uh whatchamacallit. She's back for the holidays. Okay. Oh, here's my braid. Oh my god, dude.

SPEAKER_02 13:46

It wasn't that horrible.

SPEAKER_06 13:47

Yeah, that's not bad. That's not bad. I'll I'll give you a side shot. It actually looks pretty dope. I look pretty Viking. Huh?

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Oh my god, dude. It's a little nub. Why did he try to grow it out?

SPEAKER_05 13:58

You look like the bad boy in the a cappella group. Yeah, you guys totally do. Nah, dude. I look like I could be cast in the house.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Maybe we shouldn't, you know. I don't even know. I can't even do the fucking thing. I look like I'd be cast in a the Viking show.

SPEAKER_04 14:11

Oh yeah, it was the Viking show out. The runt this was going on. The runt.

SPEAKER_02 14:16

The angry one that's like, why can't I get invited to go into the sure? It would be an axe.

SPEAKER_06 14:22

And they'd send me in first, and I would jump on someone and get killed immediately.

SPEAKER_02 14:26

That's how it would happen. They'd give you mushrooms and be like, go in.

SPEAKER_06 14:29

Go in, get fucked up so we can see what the deal is. Back home, hanging out for the holidays. It's like midnight, and we're I was drunk. Uh and she was like, She's drunk on the cross. Fuck it. Let's just this looks interesting. Let's watch this. I'm like, all right, fuck it. And when you're drunk and it's like 1 a.m. on a Tuesday, yeah, things get weird.

SPEAKER_03 14:53

All right, fuck you guys. Fuck both of you guys.

SPEAKER_05 15:00

She doesn't look totally like me. Now, is this your black sister or is this retarded sister? Which one's my sister?

SPEAKER_02 15:11

Yeah, which month are we on? Is it February?

SPEAKER_06 15:16

Uh well, thanks for having me, guys.

SPEAKER_05 15:23

So your your sister decides to put this movie on. I agreed to it.

SPEAKER_06 15:28

It was consensual.

SPEAKER_00 15:38

Netflix and chill, we get it.

SPEAKER_06 15:44

I gotta say, this is a lot funnier than the last time I was on. Oh. Alright. Last time I was on, I was just a sad boy. Yeah, you got your parts stomped on. Yeah, dude, now I'm doing fun. Now everything's perfect. Oh. I was so tempted, but I stayed the course. I gotta post reels on Instagram to get 2,000 views. I can't get distracted by hot Asian women.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Yeah, yeah, you can. You should, you should, I could see you with an Asian chick.

SPEAKER_06 16:15

God, inshallah, dude.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

You're all over the place. Inshallah means God willing.

SPEAKER_06 16:24

Well, I mean, you guys are kind of retarded. I just wanted to enlighten you a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

Do you not know our friend Talal? Have you met him? Talal, L O L, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 16:31

Talal ball.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

I know him.

SPEAKER_06 16:37

We've crossed paths.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_06 16:41

Oh god. Too bad he doesn't have a sister, huh? Um, I no, I want the uh I want that was very aggressive. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Thought this was a better neighborhood, but uh No, we see them scared a bunch of like these fucking kids, they play with our motorcycles out here, and I'm like that old like Sherry Terry. I keep it now, I keep it now. I'm like, I'm like fucking go out there and cause havoc, dude. Get hit by a car. Anyway. Um so watching the thing, all right. No more cousin, no more sister fucking. We are watching.

SPEAKER_06 17:13

We were drunk and it was late and it was hilarious. Okay, you know, like, but how did you bump into this?

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Hold on, how did this happen?

SPEAKER_06 17:20

It was just on Netflix, and I wanted I actually had just watched Hidden Tiger Couch Crouching Dragon. Couching Tiger, Hidden Tiger. Yeah, whatever the fuck, you know what I mean. Yeah, I was watching Bruce Lee shit. Enter the dragon, that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, this looks fun. And my sister likes anime, so she's like, Yeah, sure, whatever. Okay, and uh it was just it's just funny. It's a silly funny movie.

SPEAKER_02 17:46

Okay, I get why I get you. See, this is why we do these, because now I get your point of view. Because um, I don't even think me drunk at 25 at one in the morning, I would have sat through that. And found it hilarious. No, because the part, the girl, like you know what is so funny. The the female is so like you know what? It's just so childish to me.

SPEAKER_06 18:05

Dude, when the girl has her tits out and the guy's like, whoa, try not to look. Come on, that's funny. You know what? This is a big thing.

SPEAKER_05 18:13

This is a boy movie. The Asian. Oh, this is definitely a boy movie. This is a boy movie. This one's like a lot of like animes and stuff. They usually have a scene like that where like the hero is like scared of boobs and stuff, but also obsessed with boobs. It's a trope where like uh weird.

SPEAKER_02 18:30

The like main characters are when it comes to sexuality, Asians are fucking weird, dude. Um I just don't understand how you could be that so entrenched, like in depth spiritually, and then so like the the boobs very image.

SPEAKER_06 18:44

Well, dude, the Dalai Lama was sucking boys' tongues. It's uh yeah, dude. That's the more enlightened you are, the creepier sex shit you're into, apparently.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

I mean, for real, what's Pope Leo gonna be into, dude? Well, he's a good old American straight-laced. Yeah, he is the man, dude. I gotta tell you. He's tagging all those nuts. No, I want him to go to Coachella and fuck a 23-year-old with uh you know with uh Leonardo.

SPEAKER_06 19:05

I would love for a sex tape of Pope Leo and Sabrina Carpenter to come out. That would be amazing.

unknown 19:11

Wow.

SPEAKER_06 19:12

The Pope tagging Sabrina Carpenter, wouldn't that be? My head would explode.

SPEAKER_02 19:16

Like I would my head would blow up. Like that would be that would be that would on a bingo card. I'm putting that in Calci now. 2027. There's gonna be a sex tape with Pope Leo.

SPEAKER_06 19:26

And Sabrina Carpenter. Catholicism would blow. Dude, I would go. I'm already considering all these Queen's Italian guys would be like, oh fucking Pope Leo, right?

SPEAKER_02 19:38

Pope Leo, Chicago, too. Chicago would just be like, that's right. Chicago would become the capital of the world. Shy rack, motherfucker. Oh man. All right, so so this is basically it. It was just a very bonding thing with your sister.

SPEAKER_06 19:57

It's fun, it's funny, it's it's also interesting. I like uh Asian culture and that kind of stuff. I like Asian culture too, but this just is just I think it's an ancient Chinese fable.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

I it is, but they didn't take anything from it. This is just basically it's like maybe what like a lotus flower, but like other than that, it's like they bat I feel like this is. He turns into a giant Buddha fucks up the monkey. Well, that's the well that that's supposed to be the beginning of the journey.

SPEAKER_05 20:20

Yeah, it's him turning into the Buddha.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

It's like a pre-credible, yeah. Oh and actually, George Lucas supposedly based the original monkey of the like whatever, Journey of the West off of a lot of that scripture. Because it's like Star Wars shit in there.

SPEAKER_06 20:37

Huh. I guess I've I watched Journey of the West too, and that movie was a sack of shit. Oh, Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

I can't even like I if it's a sack of shit, it must be on a level of like I can't even understand or comprehend.

SPEAKER_06 20:48

It's just you know why? It wasn't funny at all.

SPEAKER_02 20:50

Oh, they went serial? They went serial with it?

SPEAKER_06 20:52

I think they tried to take themselves too serious. Because this movie's goofy. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

This is straight up. I mean, I don't know. The opening is the child watches her dad getting devoured and eaten. And she's laughing while it's happening. It's so funny. She gets very that scene was like 20 minutes. The first the opening scene is the 20. They should have just ended it there. They should have just ended it there.

SPEAKER_05 21:14

I'm watching it and I'm like, this is the climax of a movie.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

But like I'm watching it, I'm like, this is how it begins. I'm like, and it only got better. So this is my you know what it was? I went through a lot of emotions on this film. Sure. I popped it in and I was like, Well, I went on a journey. I was the monkey. I went, I almost put it on.

SPEAKER_06 21:30

That's what Jess says when she goes to Brooklyn to look for guys.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

I don't that that was the worst. Exactly. You should take that this and put it around your neck. I so I put this movie in. I started watching, I was like, This is I'm not looking forward to this. And I'm starting to watch it, and then it starts, and I'm like, oh wow, this is getting real. So I thought maybe it was gonna be kind of like like funny, but like real, like the like the monkey movie from India that they did that was with the the That no one talks about now. There was a really good film though. That fucking what was that monkey movie that uh what's what's his face helped produce too? Oh the sailors no Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. You know what I mean? Oh, there's the line.

SPEAKER_05 22:15

This is why the hell is that you're not dating blank. Yeah, we get it, dude. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_02 22:20

Let it go. Sorry, I thought this was a fun podcast. I thought we were having a good time. It was called Monkey Man. Was it called Monkey Man? So I thought it was gonna be something like because that went on the line of like It was action, but like over the came over the top, like good. And I was like, oh wow, this is gonna get it. And then the fish, then the fish comes out, and I was like, oh my god, this is gnarly. Like I immediately thought I'm like, everyone was telling me take mushrooms to go to Project Hail Mary. I'm like, no, this is the movie to be on mushrooms for, you know. So I'm like, this is gonna be great. And then the part that got me, I'm like, I can't do this anymore, is when they go to the woods and the chick pretends that they're getting robbed so she can fuck them.

SPEAKER_06 22:59

Yeah, I don't yeah, that was it's every guy's fantasy. Just some hot Asian chick. Oh, I just want you so bad.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

It looks like there's 30 minutes missing. I would love to do a movie based on your dreams. Yeah. Where because it would just be like so stupid and funny at the same time. Like, that's what I wish this movie went. Like it was if it was gonna be really stupid, then I'd be like, all right, this is just stupid. And then I would have turned it off sooner. But it coaxed me into like it's gonna be this, and then it just turned and the freaking, I mean, you gotta be an athlete to be like you have to be an Olympian athlete. You gotta be a gymnast to be in this film. This is insane.

SPEAKER_04 23:34

Flipping and doing all this stuff.

SPEAKER_02 23:36

Yeah, it's sick.

SPEAKER_04 23:38

That's it keeps you hooked.

SPEAKER_06 23:39

Just when you think it's one way, it goes the other way.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

No, this is no lady, what is it, Lady Snowbird or something like that?

SPEAKER_05 23:45

Lady, yes.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

And then they try to put that in there. They put they try to do Quentin Tarantino stuff. There was a the blood stuff. Bit of the you know, I feel like they had seven different seven different actors that from the totally story. That guy steals everything, steals everything.

SPEAKER_05 24:02

But this was so this was uh directed by the Kung Fu Hustle guy.

SPEAKER_02 24:06

Kung Fu Hustle.

SPEAKER_05 24:07

Kung Fu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer. He does like goofy action comedy. That's what he does. That's like his main thing. And yeah, like when this came out, it just seemed like an unorganized critics kind of shit on it, but but it was a success. Yeah, apparently. And yeah, that's why they had the sequel. But it makes it Chinese blockbuster. Because I was watching like recaps of all adaptations of this story, and it happens where they do make kind of like a silly first one and then they try to get serious on the second one, and everyone's like, It sucks. We hate it.

SPEAKER_02 24:41

Well, yeah, because he can't write, he's not he can't write like that.

SPEAKER_05 24:43

Oh, it's not even him, there's just adaptations throughout the world. So every time they've tried to they do a silly thing and then they do a serious one after, and people hate the serious one. He's like, Alright, guys, now let's get serious.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Reflect the dance bar.

SPEAKER_05 24:58

They want silly things, they want stupid. That's what it is.

SPEAKER_02 25:00

They want stupid. Is that what they are? Stupid, is that what they want? Stupid, stupid, beyond stupid.

SPEAKER_05 25:06

I was a little upset because you know, the opening, I was like, that was long as fuck, but yeah, cool. Alright. And then I was like, it goes to the next thing where it's basically, you know, the same. It's just another demon, you gotta fight it, another 20-minute thing fighting the demons. Like, is this gonna be the whole movie of just 20 minutes? For the audience.

SPEAKER_06 25:31

So, yeah, so why don't you give up my point? I haven't seen this movie in five or seven years. Just for the audience, Levi, not for me.

SPEAKER_05 25:38

Give a quick start with you have you know the dad gets killed by a demon, and then you have kind of a fake Buddhist monk like claim that he killed the demon, but an Erica Kirk situation.

SPEAKER_02 25:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:55

An Erica Kirk situation.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

I was wondering I'm gonna see his penis.

SPEAKER_05 26:06

And he's trying. Well, yeah, they didn't show any no no tits, no tits, no penis. But I was wondering, I was like, oh, we're gonna follow it.

SPEAKER_02 26:15

Yeah, I wanted like, look, come on, let's break the stereotype. Let's see the penis.

SPEAKER_05 26:18

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:19

You know what I mean? That could have been a big Chinese dude hanging dong. Let's see, yeah, hanging dong, dude. I thought they were gonna do it because he's like, you know, they have him positioned so weird, and then they turn and they have the camera in the back, and I'm like, come on, lift the leg up a little bit. Let's see what we got.

SPEAKER_06 26:30

Well, let's see some Chinese dong. Let's see what kind of Confucius saying. I wanted to see your penis. There we go. We're back on the racist jokes. You guys left me hanging on that last black one, but I got you back with the Asian one.

SPEAKER_03 26:45

God, dude.

SPEAKER_02 26:46

No, we should have made this so much more. We should have ordered Chinese food and had Sessipy chicken and all the things.

SPEAKER_06 26:50

Oh, that would have been awesome.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

God, dude. Jesus Christ.

SPEAKER_05 26:54

But then out of nowhere, this lady shows up and she's a badass. Yeah, she's badass. And she's like laughing at him. She's like, You suck. You're not a real demon hunter kind of thing. Like he's trying to read lullabies to bring out the good in these days.

SPEAKER_02 27:05

Yeah, that's another thing too, the singing-songing stuff.

SPEAKER_05 27:08

Well, I was worried it was gonna be a full-on musical at that point. Thank God it wasn't. Then he goes off to go fight another pig demon, and then she randomly shows up again, and she helps, and then out of nowhere she's like, I love you.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Yeah, dude, what's up with that? That's the thing that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_05 27:29

And that's pretty much the rest of the story is her trying to trick him into like fucking her. Right. Which crazy. But he's a Buddhist. But he's a Buddhist, and Buddhist can't bone. I guess not. I don't know. Oh, I don't know. And then it's yeah, he has he has to accept that he loves a woman to find his true power and enlightenment.

SPEAKER_02 27:53

Oh, good job. You got that from that. And there's a climax.

SPEAKER_05 27:59

He becomes the Buddha and defeats the monkey king. Yes. Well, I don't know if he's like supposed to be the Buddha.

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Yeah, I don't know either. I just die.

SPEAKER_05 28:09

Yeah, she dies. She dies. Uh, because he frees the monkey king accidentally by ripping out a lotus, and that was what was keeping the monkey king.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

Yeah, I thought the monkey journey of the west, I thought he hit the monkey. That's the monkey that goes west.

SPEAKER_05 28:22

I thought that's the monkey that turns into the So it's at the end you have the three, you have the monkey king and the two other demons or whatever joining the Buddha guy to go to the west, and that's like the actual story is those three guys kind of just protect the Buddha throughout all their journeys.

SPEAKER_02 28:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 28:40

And so he has subjects. Because for some reason, yeah, they were all evil and he had to defeat them.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

Also, let's talk about Levi made a good point. He thinks that they're making fun of Koreans.

SPEAKER_05 28:51

Yeah, so the pig guy, he's got this shiny face. He like looks like he's constantly got lotion all over his face, and he looks kind of Korean. And I just kept thinking, like, are they making fun of Koreans with this guy? Oh, Chinese taking a shot at Koreans?

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Maybe that'd be pretty funny. I know I would love a movie like that. The just the innuendos, and it's like, this is just totally like that'd be amazing.

SPEAKER_06 29:11

Inter-Asian racism is amazing.

SPEAKER_02 29:13

Well, I think inter-racism is so amazing. Like how, like, you know, like but I lived with a Puerto Rican and a Cuban and they hated each other. Yeah. The Puerto Rican hated the Cuban more than anything because the Cuban was just like, what? Like, yeah, she was like, yeah, she was a weirdo. But anyway, she um and the Puerto Rican hated her. And it was fun to see them going back and forth all the time. And then uh, and then I know, yeah, Japanese, Chinese. Well, uh Bradley saw, I mean, the Japanese fucked up the Chinese pretty hardcore. A Korean Japanese too. They did some fucking that's they've done some crazy shit. So that would be an interesting viewpoint if there was that, especially with the fucking face cream and shit. Like he did have a weird mask. He looked like that mask. I can't put my wasn't there a horror movie with that clear mask. What was that horror movie?

SPEAKER_04 29:56

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 29:57

Phantom of the opera Phantom of the Opera.

SPEAKER_05 30:01

Scream, I think, right? Well, Scream is not a good one.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Yeah, no, there's some. There was a movie though with a clear mask. I can't remember, but it freaks me out. That kind of mask freaks me out.

SPEAKER_05 30:12

Yeah, yeah. Those are the creepy masks.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

That's that's a creepy mask, dude.

SPEAKER_05 30:14

But I I liked him. I liked the when she's the one lady's trying to get him to talk and he just keeps going like that.

SPEAKER_06 30:22

Yeah, thank you. That's and that's why it's a good one.

SPEAKER_02 30:24

No, the funny part for me was with the two peasants. I like that scene. The two peasants are eating there and they'd eating the porch. They're like, this is delicious. And this that's that was cool. That part of it, I like that was the second part, right? Is that the second? That was one of the best ones for me. Everything else went to shit with the boar and all that stuff like that. It's just it seems like a miscollage of shit. And also, I just couldn't stand the acting. And I I have a repulsiveness when I see women acting like like it's just like oh really?

SPEAKER_06 30:53

Yes. That gets me going so much.

SPEAKER_02 30:56

Oh god, oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 30:59

And whiny, and like, oh I did think the movie was funny. You know, it's silly when you know they're using the little magic spell and uh to mimic the one girl's movements. And then the old gray guy that's like trying to hit on the chick and hit her.

SPEAKER_02 31:17

Like, I'm like, what is this? We got on way too long. Now we're on Epstein Island, and he's trying to joke around. It's like the weird creepy uncle. I'm like, what's going on here, dude? Can you just oops.

SPEAKER_05 31:25

Oh, that was the monkey king you're talking about. That's the monkey king. That's the guy in the cave, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:29

Ew, well, the monkey king is gross.

SPEAKER_05 31:31

Yeah, he's a little horned dog.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

It's a little, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:33

Well, that's the other thing. Apparently, like in the actual story, like I think it's the pig guy. He's like super horny.

SPEAKER_02 31:39

That would make sense. Pig guy should be horny. Yeah. Pig guy should be horny. Not the gray monkey. Like, that is like well, like what see the horniness bothers me. I think the horniness bothers me. Yeah. I don't get like, yeah, I don't get like I'm going through since I saw that documentary. Now I can't like horniness.

SPEAKER_06 31:55

Well, no, like in in anime and stuff, they do their horniness so weird and different where it's like the guys are like trying to abstain, like, no, I need to focus on my goals, and the women are always super horny in the anime.

SPEAKER_05 32:08

Right.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

Yeah, because that's what you fucking little dweebs, like that's what you're talking about. Yeah, that's what we fantasize about, dude.

SPEAKER_05 32:14

The dream.

SPEAKER_02 32:14

He's an inner Asian kid. Like Asians are the like the like the Asian little dudes that do the like whatever the hell, manjo, how do you call it? Manga? Manga? Mangi. What do you call it? MA. It's not supposed to be called anime, it's supposed to be called manga or some shit.

SPEAKER_05 32:29

Manga is the uh actual like comic book.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

All right. Well, the book version of all, those are the original incels. Those are the OG incels.

SPEAKER_05 32:36

So as I was watching this, I was like, uh I I can see like an incel community enjoying this movie.

SPEAKER_00 32:42

Oh the incel community. I love Levi so much.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Levi's the movie I picked. Levi should have been like a serious like work for the FBI under cult and like occultism. And because he he will go into Reddit and he will go into the dark, dark web of it all. Do you? Uh sometimes. He just he it's like an study for him. He's like Mindhunter. He loves going in there and be like, oh, the insel community. I call them freaks. He gives them an actual scientific, like he gives them like almost respect. Like they do. He was the guy that you're so that's why you're Mindhunter. He's that. I'm the guy that's like, what's the fuck in this guy?

SPEAKER_00 33:22

It doesn't start shit. It's broken. It's broken.

SPEAKER_06 33:26

Levi's the one that to learn and you know secured. Levi's the one that calls pedophiles maps. Maps. Minor attracted persons. Oh god.

SPEAKER_02 33:36

Oh my god. I didn't even I didn't even know the term, but there's a lot of Nebraska, huh? You got a lot of maps. Oh, that's a Brooklyn thing.

SPEAKER_06 33:42

They're trying to like legitimize pedophilia as a sexuality.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Well, I knew Nambla. National, what is it? Is it Nambla?

SPEAKER_05 33:49

National American Boy Loving Association.

SPEAKER_02 33:52

Yeah, something like that. Nambla. I remember because I didn't know what it was and I was in Detroit working at Quick and Loans, and I was on my work computer, and they're like making fun of Nambla. I'm like, what's Nambla? And I started typing it in my work computer. They're like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 34:06

Jess is like, I live in North America.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

I'm like, I don't know, Nambla. I'm the opposite. I I'm gonna probably I'd probably fuck a dead guy now before I fuck a 22-year-old.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

Yeah?

SPEAKER_02 34:16

Yeah, dude. I can't. The younger they are now, especially now, dude. They're horrible. Like they're just you're the COVID kids now. How old are you again? I keep forgetting. 30. Okay, you're just uh you just missed the COVID shit. You're 25 when COVID happened.

SPEAKER_06 34:29

No, I just graduated college.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

Okay, so you got out.

SPEAKER_06 34:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:33

Because those kids behind you.

SPEAKER_06 34:35

I had just entered the workforce. Okay. I was working for like a less than a year and then COVID was like psych unemployed.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Okay. Then that was pretty much.

SPEAKER_06 34:44

And that's why I've never had a career or a real job. Because my first real job I got, COVID yeet it out.

SPEAKER_02 34:51

Yeah, but you still work. You work, you work, uh, do a Chitsky stuff.

SPEAKER_06 34:55

Yeah, that's not a career.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

No, but it's a job. It's not that you don't work. Yeah, I'm not a bum, but yeah, I know. But like I'm saying, the generation behind you, dude, they're they're they're they're Looney Tunes. Yeah. Like the COVID shit really fucked them up. Oh, for sure. They're totally different humans. Like, I was I went out, where did I go out? When did I go out? I went out one night and I was just watching all the like the young twerps go out to like hang out and drink. It was after Friday, so they're all hitting happy hour. Yeah. And oh my god, dude, the dweebery. Like they all look like dweebs to me. Dweebery. But even with them like wearing, like, I could tell some of them are fibros, but it's just like they have never lived.

SPEAKER_06 35:30

Like they're just like, Yeah, I would say they're all so fucking. I mean, you grew up with an iPad in front of your face. They didn't go out and they'd have no idea what reality. They didn't go out and do bad shit. Not at all. You know what I mean? They didn't. So they're just talking about stay at home and scroll.

SPEAKER_02 35:43

They're kind of like this fucking movie. They're like boosh boobs. And it's like, dude, you're 22. Like we're 23. What are you doing?

SPEAKER_06 35:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:50

Like the way they talk, and they're all like go vandalize a cop girl. I could tell you know what it is, they all look like holograms to me. They don't look like real people. Like they look like they just took like They're NPCs. Yeah, they're just like they're just on the boobies thing.

SPEAKER_05 36:01

Uh I was I was I was bombing. To go back to that earlier point. I was bombing at the bear. And another Tuesday, yeah. Yeah. It's just like what? Saw that. And I said something about like, I don't know, what the fuck should I even talk about? And the guy, this young guy just goes, boobies.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

He's like, boobies? He said boobies. He actually said boobies.

SPEAKER_05 36:21

Boobies.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Bro, see, they're saying boobies and they're saying marijuana. Like, really. They say marijuana. Dude, some of the young ones. So like, I smoke marijuana, and I'm like, no, you you're a dork. You're a dork. No, you don't. They're the kind of people that smoke cigarettes and they're like holding it like this, like, and they're trying to learn how to like I feel like all the shit, the weirdness that you're supposed to go through at 14, they're going through it now. And I'm like, dude, like, like, what are you doing, dude? Like, it's like those people that just got into fish and now they're going on tour with them. And I'm like, dude, what are you doing, dude?

SPEAKER_06 36:49

Well, not to be a conspiracy theory, but this is how they want it.

SPEAKER_02 36:53

This is how they want them. They're eating the chickens, and now everyone's like, what do you mean who who was they? The system. This is how they want. They don't want them to be able to be masculine and the city. Dirty the rest is actually a psyop for the CIA.

SPEAKER_06 37:05

Brown so much as a PSY-op. Don't even get me started. We can go down a rabbit hole. Dude, I know.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

They're just making geese now. They're making bands a psyop. It's like, no, they just suck, okay? And they hired a fucking like everything's everything's such a conspiracy now. Oh, yeah. You know what still bothers me? That's not a conspiracy. Like geese being the fucking guy from Vegas that shot up that, like, that what's that guy that shot up that? Manalay Bay? Is that Manalay Bay?

SPEAKER_06 37:28

The one that the Have you looked into it?

SPEAKER_02 37:32

But something tells me you had it.

SPEAKER_06 37:34

Oh buddy, I didn't.

SPEAKER_05 37:35

How did he get all this ammunition?

SPEAKER_06 37:37

So wait, so what's the deal? That is one of the things. And there was a helicopter flying over that uh there's another angle video taken. It looked like a firing squad was shooting out of it.

SPEAKER_02 37:47

Yeah, but why would they hide it from us? If it wasn't another country that did it, like why would they hide it from Israel? Was it Israel? Of course. And everything. I'm not gonna have a career because I said no, it's getting okay now. Yeah. More than ever. Yeah, that's true. More than ever, dude. Are you kidding me? Like, fucking, you know, that's why they killed Patrice O'Neill. Oh my god. I'll go to war. Dude, they did. I would create the O'Neill war. I'd forget I'd go in Israel right now. I'd be like, you guys, you fucking. You ruined it!

SPEAKER_00 38:19

You made Kevin Hart popular, you bastard.

SPEAKER_06 38:25

Oh man. None of these lame TikTok comedians would have any kind of career if Patrice was still around.

SPEAKER_02 38:32

If Patrice was still around, it'd be like he would just that would be the whole show. I'd want him to have a pod. And if he was online, he would kill. Because I would want him just to just eviscerate all these dumb fucks. All right, so wait.

SPEAKER_06 38:45

Do you think 9-11 was legit or do you think that was an inside job?

SPEAKER_02 38:50

I mean, I think on all right, hold on. I do I think the I think there's a lot of like mishaps that wit that helped us create what we could do.

SPEAKER_06 39:01

The terrorist passport just happened to be on the sidewalk a couple blocks away from the building? I forgot about that. Yeah, pretty absurd. Yeah, come on, dude.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

I think they're both things coming true.

SPEAKER_06 39:14

Of course they're willing to do all this other shit to us.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

Well, yeah, of course. I mean, I'm not surprised about that. I mean, we should probably get more. I'm waiting for another one. But um was gonna say, um, no, go back to the Vegas thing because that's bothering me lately. Like, how come that's not brought up?

SPEAKER_06 39:27

It is so long. I'll send you the video. It was the conspiracy is that it was What is the conspiracy? It was something about uh wanting to ban there was like a bill that they were trying to ban some like weapon part or something, and this was shit over the line or something. Well, because they sneak other shit into bills and stuff like that. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. So I I'll send you the I watched this video a long time ago. My buddy is really into these conspiracies. In Nebraska? Yeah, and when you do for a living, uh he's a teacher.

SPEAKER_02 39:57

He flips houses? Yeah, yeah. Oh my god, this guy. So he's like a tech, like a like the version of a tech bro there. Like he's like a big wig, like he's making money.

SPEAKER_06 40:05

Yeah, he's doing well for himself.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

Is he? Where does he live?

SPEAKER_06 40:07

In Nebraska.

SPEAKER_02 40:08

Okay, but like does he live in a ritzy neighborhood? Like, what's his story? Man, so he's living the life, dude. Is he married?

SPEAKER_06 40:15

Uh no, but he's had a girlfriend for like eight years, so he might as well be.

SPEAKER_02 40:18

So funny. And he just sits around watching videos of this shit.

SPEAKER_06 40:20

No, he flips houses, he shoots guns, he works out, and he watches conspiracy videos.

SPEAKER_02 40:26

Wow. He is a true red-blooded American. Dude, that is insane. What a f that is a different animal, dude. I don't even know how it would be able to talk to that.

SPEAKER_06 40:36

Not like you Brooklyn queers out here, you New York losers.

SPEAKER_02 40:41

Then, bitch, why are you moving here, motherfucker?

SPEAKER_06 40:44

Because I have to do comedy. Everyone back home is too retarded to do comedy. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:47

Don't go figure. I flip houses in Omaha. You bring a VCR, I'll, you know, we'll do a deal.

SPEAKER_03 40:58

We'll do a deal over VCR.

SPEAKER_06 41:02

I will say the East Coast is stupid in their own way, too.

SPEAKER_02 41:05

Oh, yeah, of course. I mean, oh my god, no.

SPEAKER_06 41:07

Everybody's everybody's dumb in their own way. Everyone's dumb, bro. Yeah, committee.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

We got Long Island and Staten Island. Of course, everyone's dumb, dude.

SPEAKER_06 41:14

Well, it's not just them. I think it's the entire city. Of course.

SPEAKER_02 41:17

Of course, of course. I'm my upstairs neighbors for one.

SPEAKER_06 41:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:21

Well, I don't know. I don't know what happened to the kids. I hope they don't think I called ice, but I haven't heard the kids in a while. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:26

It'd be funny if just the kids got deported.

SPEAKER_00 41:31

That part I will not go to.

SPEAKER_06 41:33

I will not go to the kids scooped up on their way home from school. Dude. Oh, what am I gonna do with all these lunchables I just bought?

SPEAKER_02 41:40

This is the intellect we're dealing with, folks. This is the intellect.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

Dude, that's what he's thinking. Do you know how many lunchables are at ones? We should totally go in and get those lunchables, man. No, what I'm saying is he makes an Italian job out of lunchables. It's like that's the movie.

SPEAKER_06 42:01

Dude, that would actually be helpful. Are you gonna go save the children?

SPEAKER_00 42:04

No, we're gonna get those lunchables, man. Because that could be helping our schools.

SPEAKER_05 42:12

The amount of crackers in weird circular ham.

SPEAKER_00 42:16

You know, don't get me started. Don't get me started on the baloney that's in there.

SPEAKER_06 42:20

All right. You think that's actual ham, or do you want to know that conspiracy? No, dude, that definitely doesn't conspiracy today. That's no conspiracy on that one.

SPEAKER_02 42:27

That's just dog shit. Fucking milk, like ridiculous. Um, so yeah, I just still like you haven't seen the movie. So why do you pick, why'd you did you want to torture me? Like, is this what it is?

SPEAKER_06 42:37

This movie, it's got a little bit of everything, right? It's got action, it's got comedy, it's got romance, it's got music, it's got a message behind it. Fantasy. What's the mess? What's the message? Uh that Buddhism is the tits.

SPEAKER_02 42:52

That's a shirty by fucking Chinese like fuckers. Buddhism is a tits. It's like America I like. You know what I mean? I feel like this movie was made for Americans. Like, that's why I'm also maybe insulted. I'm like, did they make this for us stupid asses? I don't think so. It's the Shaolin soccer.

SPEAKER_06 43:07

Have you ever seen Shaolin soccer? No, and I will not. Oh, that movie rips.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

That's really crazy. It's the Shaolin bumps. If he's saying it's really crazy, then it's like it's it's just it's it's just it's a cartoon.

SPEAKER_05 43:19

It's uh live adventure.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

You know what it is? If he made a cartoon out of this, I probably would have watched it more. If it was a cartoon, I would have watched it.

SPEAKER_06 43:27

It's almost like uh China's version of like scary movie or like uh maybe more accurate. It's like Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, you know what I mean? Where it's just like a dumb, goofy movie that's fun. Yeah, but Bill and Ted had style. I'm sure that's what the Chinese people are saying about the Chinese people are saying about Jerry Rice. I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_02 43:51

I won't see uh these actors doing Waiting for Godot on Broadway.

SPEAKER_04 43:56

He's a star.

SPEAKER_02 43:57

He has a star. Oh my god, Jesus Christ. We actually. Done pretty good today. Yeah, that was fun. Really, before we got started with the other races, not that one. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 44:05

Yeah, you guys really let me down with a couple black jokes, but that's okay. You fucking pussies.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

Because it wasn't good, man. You gotta elevate your game, dude. We're making you better. We're making you better.

SPEAKER_03 44:15

There we go.

SPEAKER_06 44:18

You need to elevate like a Buddha. Yeah. Show titties. It was a bummer that we never got to see her tits in this place.

SPEAKER_05 44:27

I thought when she was dancing in front of the moon, I was like, here we go.

SPEAKER_06 44:30

There we go. Well, yeah, I'm the one to talk about. He's like resume.

SPEAKER_05 44:37

Honey, are you asleep?

SPEAKER_02 44:39

It doesn't matter if you are. I could go both ways, dude.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

That's true. I have an issue.

SPEAKER_02 44:49

Louis part two. Are you asleep?

SPEAKER_05 44:53

In case you snore.

SPEAKER_02 44:54

Snore. Snore.

SPEAKER_05 44:56

I have to be asleep as well for that.

SPEAKER_02 44:59

Uh-oh. Getting awkward. Getting very good.

SPEAKER_06 45:01

Dude, I want to say sex sleep stuff is so one-sided. Cause like uh what? All right, let's see. Especially when she's sleeping. Let me finish. Let me finish. Can't you try? Can't you?

SPEAKER_00 45:13

Like, you know, wake up.

SPEAKER_06 45:15

Oh my god. This is the problem. You guys don't let me get to you interrupt me in the setup.

SPEAKER_00 45:20

Because the setup's so fucking, you know, with soulful is sleeping in the case.

SPEAKER_06 45:24

You do a crazy setup to draw the attention. Okay, it's just like okay, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

This is for the reels. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_06 45:30

All right. Well, now you guys don't get it.

SPEAKER_00 45:33

So you know when she's passed out, right? Alright. She said yes at the restaurant.

SPEAKER_06 45:40

Have you ever been asleep? And you're Yeah, Levi, hold on.

SPEAKER_00 45:44

Now you're going into Levi territory.

SPEAKER_04 45:46

Go for it.

SPEAKER_02 45:46

Levi, let's go.

SPEAKER_04 45:47

Have you been woken up by a blowjob? Absolutely not. Never. Really?

SPEAKER_02 45:51

But that what has Levi done in his sleep?

SPEAKER_04 45:53

Oh, yeah. So I can't.

SPEAKER_02 45:54

So when we go on the road, I have to have three separate. It's a pain in the ass. When we go on the road and I bring these two monkeys. I need to have three separate bets because we can't share one. Because Levi likes to do things when he's sleeping.

SPEAKER_05 46:07

It's not likes.

SPEAKER_02 46:08

It's a condition. It's a condition.

SPEAKER_05 46:11

And this isn't an every night thing. This is, you know, whatever blue moon. Is this a bit or is this a real thing? It's a real thing. It's like sleepwalking, but you're simulating sex. There's no penetration. There's no humping, maybe some squeezing.

SPEAKER_02 46:32

Some digging.

SPEAKER_06 46:33

How do you explain that to girls the first time they sleep over?

SPEAKER_05 46:37

Well, uh Sierra, she's used to it. Yeah, now through it. No, she's never, I think a few times.

SPEAKER_06 46:44

What was that pitch?

SPEAKER_05 46:45

A few times she uh like told me in the morning, she was like, Yeah, you were like just humping me and like trying to you know grab my and I'm like I'm so sorry. I feel horrible. And but I don't think I've ever it's I didn't you know that I've ever done that with anybody else, but yeah. I I told her before she knew.

SPEAKER_06 47:14

Do you have a cousin that doesn't talk to you anymore?

SPEAKER_05 47:16

Plenty.

SPEAKER_02 47:21

Yes, we had to have step because we you know, not like he would do it, like you know what I mean. We never know.

SPEAKER_06 47:26

Dude, and Talal's just hilarious as if you forced him in Talal to show.

SPEAKER_02 47:31

I wanted to many a time. But Talal Talal has to bring his own sheets.

SPEAKER_06 47:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:34

Yeah. Really? He literally brings his own sheets. What? Yeah, he has to, and he takes all the sheets off and he puts his sheets on. It's he brings his own sheets.

SPEAKER_06 47:43

Is Talal a little princess? Is he a little arranged?

SPEAKER_02 47:45

I don't understand because it's like he grew up in a tent. He's got OCD, yeah. You grew up in a tent? No, I make fun of him because I'd like I'd tell you, say he's like very bougie. It's like you had a Patagonia tent when you're doing the uh refugee. When you're at a refugee camp. You had everything particular. Like you could be like, don't move in there, take your shoes off. Take your shoes off, getting into the tent.

SPEAKER_06 48:06

You do need to take your shoes off before you get in a tent. I don't know if you guys ever in Canada.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

You gotta take well, you're right. You do have to take your shoes off before you go into a tent.

SPEAKER_06 48:13

My point about this was Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 48:15

What were we talking about? Getting a blowjob while to wake up.

SPEAKER_06 48:20

Fantastic, super nice, no complaints. But definitely could not go the other way. You can't go down on a chick. You could not wake a girl up by eating her pussy.

SPEAKER_02 48:30

Why not? Because I don't want to go to jail for the rest of my life. What chicks wouldn't like if you already slept with them and you wake up the next morning and you're eating that.

SPEAKER_06 48:38

If I wake up to a man eating my pussy, then you gotta discuss beforehand. You really you can't just thrust sexual shit upon women.

SPEAKER_02 48:44

Hold on though. If I'm hold on, if I'm in bed with a dude and we already did it at night, and then I wake up in the morning and he's eating my pussy out, what's the problem? Oh, well, see, here's the thing. You're thinking like a man. How am I thinking like a man? Dude, if I already fucked a dude and I like Steve Harvey in right now.

SPEAKER_05 49:00

Yeah. You're thinking like a man.

SPEAKER_02 49:01

Oh, I'm thinking like shit, and I got fucking Whitney Houston song playing in the background all of a sudden. Shoop, shoop, whatever the fuck. Um bathtubs. What happened? Crack. Crack. Start doing mad. Bobby Brown. I'm getting there.

SPEAKER_06 49:23

Dude, that halftime show did rip. When it opened up and there was just a bunch of Latinas and grass squirts twerking, I was like, Oh my god, he's talking about that.

SPEAKER_05 49:34

We're talking about Whitney Houston. Dude, I feel like you're teleporting.

SPEAKER_00 49:38

Jesus Christ. I was just women, we get it.

SPEAKER_06 49:42

Um beautiful. Cool. You know, I say that I'm done with black women, and then the last date I had was with a black chick.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

Well, yeah, because you're not, you know, you're not racist.

SPEAKER_06 49:50

Put them down. Oh man, dude, you're out of your mind. Um I'm not racist, but sometimes I think it might be easier to be.

SPEAKER_02 50:10

No, it's just fun.

SPEAKER_06 50:11

Um it's fun to make racist jokes, but if you really genuinely were racist and you could like live in just like a white community, your world view to be so simple, it'd make life easier, wouldn't it? You just had a real simple one-dimensional. Because then you're not the spice of life.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

You're just you're just always ignorant. Like they they they do live like that and they're angry as fuck.

SPEAKER_06 50:32

Oh, the Mormons aren't angry. They seem like they're having a great time.

SPEAKER_02 50:34

Well, there's are there black people in Mormons? They have they have they have they don't care. It's not about a race thing.

SPEAKER_06 50:40

I mean, it's not a race thing. Same way Judaism's not a race thing, but you know.

SPEAKER_02 50:47

I'm starting to get like I'm starting to pop up a little bit on it like Instagram, so I'm getting a lot of haters, which is awesome. You know, and they like especially love it too, especially if they do it in my comment section.

SPEAKER_06 50:57

Oh, yeah, because then it keeps the video going.

SPEAKER_02 50:59

And it's always because of my name. They're like, like, there's this hot chick who's a golfer. She does like conspiracy theories, and I follow her because she does say she'll be like, do you know? And then she'll be like, This is my driver, and then she'll drive away. And all the incel dudes watch her because she's hot and she golfs and stuff like that. And I she brought about RFK Jr. that said that it was a genetic, it was a way of doing genetic uh uh genocide with COVID. It was like it was made for a genetic means, like or whatever, like that. And I'm like, dude, and I'm like, how can anyone? So I posted, I'm like, how can anyone listen to that voice? Like he was there's a clip of him talking because his voice is insane. Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy to sit through that and be like, dude.

SPEAKER_06 51:39

I watched a 45-minute State of the Union address with him when he was running for president. Did you really? Yeah, you're stupid, dude. Like, there's no way. He actually had some really shut up. No, his main thing when he was running for president was let's uh make the food healthier.

SPEAKER_04 51:57

Okay, okay. Yeah, okay, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 51:59

Okay, while while he takes peptides and fucking. Well, yeah, we found that out now. But like, I mean, why would you take something? First off, he's a Kennedy. He's already fucked. Like, why would you even trust that? Well, dude, JFK was like one of the most loved presidents. No, because he was also full of shit, too. The Kennedys are all fucked up. That's why the problem people know their history. The Kennedys sucked, okay? All right, sorry I pushed your bubble. They suck. The Roosevelts are where they're at. Anyway, so back to what I was saying, I can't remember because I smoked weed and now I forgot how it was.

SPEAKER_06 52:25

Something about how much you hate Jews.

SPEAKER_02 52:27

Oh, yeah. So my name, they always are like some sort of brought it up and be like, yeah, goes to show, like referencing that I'm Jewish. I don't know if they said developmentally I'm Jewish, and I'm like, I'm not Jewish, dude. I'd hate to tell you this, but I'm a non-practicing Catholic. And and then they're like, okay, you know, it has everything to do with your ethnicity, and like going off about like how, and I've always hated that argument. I'm like, it's a religion. It's not because it's stupid, because then you have Ashkenazi. What's that? You're Ashkenazi Jewish. That's white people. That's basically all a blend of like sauerkraut and pierogis. It's not an actual, like, it's a religion.

SPEAKER_06 53:09

I was gonna say, and that is the moment we saw Jess's career disappear.

SPEAKER_02 53:15

It's Ashkenazi, and then there's Syrian Jews, there's all sorts of kind of Jews. It's not, you know what I'm saying? So it's like they're all over the place, dude. It's everywhere. So it's like it's a stupid argument to make. It's ethnicity. No, it's not, you dummy. Also, I just found out the Israeli settlers, the ones that are crazy, they're inbreds, which makes complete sense. They all look like orcs. You ever seen them? They look like orcs from like Lord of the Rings, they're like, and they got those little tiny piranha teeth. Why do I say anything wrong? They're ducking. Have you ever seen those fuckers, man? They're crazy, dude. They're all dirty.

SPEAKER_05 53:50

Inbred people are very ugly.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

They're very ugly. They're very ugly. They look like orcs. You put an orc side to side with fucking Abraham out in fucking out in Gaza, Gaza land, whatever the hell. He looks like an orc. Oh man, that's what he's government's about to do. That's what J.R. Tolkien's callers to Israel to take down Jesus. J.R.

SPEAKER_00 54:13

Tolkien was using it.

SPEAKER_02 54:16

Yeah, dude. Oh, Cashmattel's gonna come after me. Can you can you drive, bro? You're too hammered to fucking that guy is so fucked up. Supposedly it's coming out more and more how wasted he is at every every time.

SPEAKER_06 54:27

That kind of just makes me like him, to be real. He's just a fucking bro that's getting hammered and found his way into one of the highest positions of power. He's a picture for all of us. Oh my god, dude.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

Yeah, you probably would be president. It's that's that's how bad.

SPEAKER_06 54:41

We'd have such a good time.

SPEAKER_02 54:43

No, we would not, dude. Yeah, yeah. No, we'd have the best time. Oh, what would you do? What would be your first thing? All Latinas need to come to the Wales.

SPEAKER_00 54:55

That's not an intercom. Latinas are part of the Wales. I would like I would like all the lunchables in the country.

SPEAKER_06 55:05

You know how Trump's always eating McDonald's?

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Taco Tuesday with a lunchable freaking oh, dude.

SPEAKER_06 55:13

Dude, that'd be sick. No, dude. First thing I would do as president.

SPEAKER_02 55:18

Yeah, well, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:20

I would withdraw our entire international military presence. Alright. I'd bring the boys home. That's what I'd do.

SPEAKER_00 55:32

I'd bring the boys home. Let's party. And then we'd party. And then we'd party.

SPEAKER_02 55:37

Then we'd party. And then it would rain lunchables. I just love the an Asian Latinas.

SPEAKER_06 55:46

Sounds like a great party.

SPEAKER_02 55:48

Catered by Buddha. We should be the new Budweiser mascot. That's we should need to be like Bud Mackenzie, but it's Zach. Zach's form. Zach is Bud Mackenzie. Come back. Bud Mackenzie was like the um the dog that was it Bud Light? What was it for? I think it was just Budweiser. Was it Budweiser? Yeah, he was the mascot of Budweiser, and he was just dog that partied. It would be a real dog. That's so many edits.

SPEAKER_05 56:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:12

Dog. That's what you. Oh my God. You know what it is? You're so stupid, it's so sweet at the same time. And that's why, like, you know what I mean? It's kind of like, you know, it's like a retarded child. It's just like he's just so sweet. I'm deceptively intelligent. Good word. All right.

SPEAKER_03 56:29

Well, my vocab isn't that bad.

SPEAKER_02 56:33

Yeah, no, not ours.

SPEAKER_06 56:34

I watch foreign films, Jess.

SPEAKER_02 56:38

Seriously, what other like can you give me one other movie just so I can understand? So you you had Elf in this. What can you give me another movie that's just like that I love?

SPEAKER_06 56:44

Yeah, that's just Singing in the Rain. Sh no, you don't. I swear to God, it's one of my favorite movies.

SPEAKER_02 56:50

Why can't you ever pick that fucking? All right, next time you come on, we're watching that. I can't believe Singing in the Rain is one of your favorite movies.

SPEAKER_06 56:55

It's one of my absolute favorite movies. Are you sick?

SPEAKER_02 56:57

That's one of my absolute favorite movies.

SPEAKER_06 56:58

Yeah, it's a fantastic movie.

SPEAKER_02 57:01

Why can't they pick that? Like, why are you picking these a fucking Singing in the Rain? Eli Levi doesn't know what to get that has been.

SPEAKER_06 57:07

What's more fun to talk about it on a podcast? Singing in the Rain Classic of American cinema? Or Journey to the West, a fucking amazing CG.

SPEAKER_02 57:16

You could talk about how you wanted to fuck Debbie Reynolds. Isn't that who's that's in it? Debbie Reynolds? I think it's Debbie Reynolds.

SPEAKER_06 57:20

Yeah, Debbie Reynolds. Yeah, she I'm not into the No, she's too skinny and scrawny.

SPEAKER_02 57:24

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:24

And she's quite gross. She's quite gross. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_02 57:29

White gross. Oh, yeah, she is wicked white. That's like white is the pure snow. Like white, white. Then it's daughter. Then with the daughter she created, though. Doing blow and hanging out with Jabba the Hutt. I mean, holy shit, in a bikini. I that you'd probably have your girlfriend wear that outfit, huh?

SPEAKER_06 57:43

Oh, well, Princess Leia Job of the Hutt outfit?

SPEAKER_03 57:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:47

Very hot. That is a very hot. Dude Asian slave Leah.

SPEAKER_03 57:52

Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

I tell you what, I was trying to think ever since so there's this stock about Louie called Um We need to talk about Louis. We need to talk about Louie. And I've been thinking about what my fetishes are. I'm like, all right, you know what? Let's make this the little writing challenge for Levin. Like, what's my because I have a hard time understanding like sex stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 58:14

You'll never guess what mine is.

SPEAKER_00 58:15

Yeah, I'm afraid. Asian. Yeah, exactly. I actually I like, you know how they make their noodles? I like that pole to hit my dick with an Asian man at the end of it riding on it with cocoa nuts.

SPEAKER_02 58:29

With cocoa, cocoa broth. The coconut broth. No, okay. So uh I want to make sure the priest. A hot priest. A hot priest. Yeah, a priest, father. I would do I did not Pope. I don't want full on pope. I want priests. I want the wife.

SPEAKER_06 58:43

Pay for your sins.

SPEAKER_02 58:44

I want yeah, kind of that thing. Yeah, yeah, not really. No, it would be more like a uh I don't know, I'm having problems with God or Father cares.

SPEAKER_05 58:53

Exorcist.

SPEAKER_02 58:54

Yeah, that would be the that's that's him. That's the one I want. That one I want. I want that one. Sad priest. Sad boy priest.

SPEAKER_03 59:05

Sad priest. Sad priest. What's the fucking sad priest?

SPEAKER_02 59:10

I like him. Like him real sad. Question him in the faith. Love that.

SPEAKER_04 59:15

Alright, what's yours? What's your fantasy? I don't know. Oh, don't fucking big white women. That's what I like. He likes big, yeah. He likes big white women. He likes big ass.

SPEAKER_02 59:25

That's a thing. He likes big white women.

SPEAKER_05 59:28

I don't know. All right. If they're okay with me touching them in their sleep, it's fine.

unknown 59:34

That's it, though.

SPEAKER_02 59:35

You got a sleep fuck fantasy. There we go.

SPEAKER_00 59:37

That's great, dude.

SPEAKER_02 59:39

Alright, what's your fantasy?

SPEAKER_06 59:41

I mean, there's a couple things that I'm really into. I'll narrow it down to three.

SPEAKER_02 59:46

Three? How many would you say? There's like ten? You can think of ten.

SPEAKER_06 59:50

If I really sat here and thought about it, probably ten, but off the top of my head, like I'm gonna go. Off the top you got five. Okay, let me see. Um, but three. Uh I love like alright, so I I want a girl that has uh not fucked a lot of guys, but not for the same reason that most guys are into that. Yeah. Most I think most guys they want a girl that hasn't fucked a lot of dudes because like it's a purity thing or whatever. Oh I the inexperience is so hot to me when a girl's like, oh, I've never done this before.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:23

Oh, that's why you like that Asian shit.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:24

Then you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:25

That's why that's his little thing.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:27

Innocent, uh, horny innocence. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:30

That's what that's why he likes I've never gone on top before. But do you actually let me fucking show you? You know, like, oh, that's just so hot, dude. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:38

That's creepy. That's creepy. Go to the next one.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:42

All right, I didn't know we were gonna fucking shit on me as soon as I thought we're in the nest.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:46

I thought we're in the nest. I thought we were having fun on this podcast. I thought this was a safe space.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:50

I thought this was a safe space. I get the other one. So you like being a pedophile? Second one.

SPEAKER_05 1:00:56

Well, hold on. Do you you you want them to be experienced, but you want them to act that way? Like, oh no, never done this before.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:07

This is so long. This is so dirty. And I'm like, oh yeah, you fucking corrupting a beautiful young woman. Okay, creepy. All right, I was trying to swing for a punch there and it didn't land.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:20

Number two. It landed. Number two, pedophilia. One pedophilia.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:24

No, I want her to obviously be an adult, but like, so there's this girl. Uh 27.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:28

You just wanted her to be stunted. No.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:31

When I was 27, I was dating this Brazilian.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:34

Which is probably the problem with a lot of now. I get what's going on with these guys. They're all fucked up. These poor guys. Sorry.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:41

When I was 27, I was dating this Brazilian girl, also 27. Okay. But she was raised like very religious. She was a virgin. And God, it was so fucking hot. It was like she's like, oh, I don't know. I've never done this, but I want to do it with you. I'm like, oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:58

Okay. The temptation thing. I gotcha. I gotcha.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:00

Just like, I don't know. Do you know what it is? They don't have experience, so they don't know how fucking terrible I am. So wait, do you that's true too?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

And they can't you don't have to. No reference. You could be their first disappointment. Now, uh, number two.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:15

Number two?

SPEAKER_02 1:02:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:17

I love eating pussy. Do really? I love going down and munching a bug.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:25

There's women out there that supposedly don't want to get their pussy eating. I don't get that.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:28

Really does something for and more and like more than it should. You know what I mean? What do you mean with you should? So I get the most bricked up when I'm going on down on a check.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:38

That's amazing, Zach. Good for you. I hope you keep that up. All right, that should be number one. Pedophilia should go away.

SPEAKER_06 1:02:44

No, though these women are of age. They're just like, it's like a girl who's so into books that she hasn't really explored her sexuality, and now I'm the one that gets to teach her everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:53

Oh my god. God, and you're not teaching shit. Number three. Go ahead. What's three? I'm teaching when I'm down on that box, you're alright. You know what, dude? I do I wonder. I do wonder. I do wonder.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:07

Seriously. Number three. Just chicks that aren't white, to be honest. It's pretty straightforward. What have you got Anne Hathaway from that movie? Dude, Anne Hathaway in the leather Catwoman suit when she's bent over on the motorcycle in uh Dark Knight. It's pretty fucking messed.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:26

Dude, that's so funny. It's so specific. It's like, would you have to have a freeze frame of that? It's like, all right, don't move.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:32

Don't I'm not saying that I have not banged white chicks. I don't find white chicks attractive. Right. Genuinely, if you want me to be serious about white chicks.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:41

I want you and Michael Good to have a sex pod. We would have a crazy pod. That would be a crazy pod.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:50

I want to go to Columbia with Michael Good. I texted him.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:52

I was like, Mikey Good, you need to do a pod. You two need to do a pod.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:57

Me and Michael are good friends, too. I love Michael.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:58

Yes, that would be amazing. Because you two, he's he's like, he's like, I, you know, so I dressed up as the, you know, uh, an orange, and then she like squeezed me, and then, you know, she had a nipple piercing, so it got cut on my mouth, and then like you would be like, I got this sweet Asian girl on the seven train. Like, it's just like completely the opposites, but you're both little like sexual deviants. You're a little horny toads. You're a little horny toads. That's what the Todd can be. Horny toads. You guys are little horny toads. I should produce this fucking podcast.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:30

You should. I should produce this shit. If you were the producer and you just judged us every time we said something, fucking Michael puts your dick out. He's like, say it, say it for him. Tell me I'm a fucking dirty piece of shit. Come on, Jess, I'm almost there. Oh my god. All right, we gotta run this. Wait, hold on. Let me finish the so legitimately why I actually do like chicks that are white. Um not to be like gay about it or anything. But I feel like in life you're supposed to try to broaden your horizons as much as you can, right? Yes, yes. And when I'm dating somebody that's from a culture that's outside of my culture, it's like I'm really it turns you on. Well, it's a great way to like expand your worldview to date someone from a different culture and like really get ingratiated in that and see things from a different POV. That's and so like when I'm dating a white chick, it's like I know what I'm getting. I grew up in this, you know what I mean? It's nothing new, it's nothing special. Right. When I'm dating like a Colombian chick, now I have all the shit to learn and experience, and like a whole world opens up for me, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:30

He's sweet, see, see sweet sack. He likes a very um a worldly pedophile.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:40

I just want to end with I love Jews and black people. Uh these are all jokes. You're you're both fantastic communities I respect greatly. But fuck the white people.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:50

Yeah, but no, I will say I that's my problem with the other younger generation is that they're not very diverse.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:56

Yeah. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:58

They stick to the they stick to their own. Even like I was talking like there was a bunch of these Indian chicks the other night and they're like a bunch of Mindy Kalings. Like they all had that like high pitch white girl voice. And I was talking to someone, I forget, I forget who it was. It wasn't a me. Well who was it? Ayana Dukey. That's who I was talking to. She's like, well, when a lot of them are just name. Well, no, Ayana, she's great. So she was mentioning she's great, she made a great point. A couple of people told me this. She's uh but they're like when you move here, you're kind of like you either go with the white culture or the black culture. And depending on where you move is which one you assimilate in. So it makes complete sense. Like a lot of Indian chicks are sound like they're like, yeah, like, oh my god, like basic white girl octave, you know, which is everything I hate. Because I think that's enabling pedophilia. Like these bitches. That's why I don't I don't like chicks that are like, what? I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:46

The baby stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:47

The baby stuff, that's gross to me. No, it's not baby stuff. Like uh you just like the sexual stuff. Like, I don't know. Like I've never done this before. Yeah.

unknown 1:06:55

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:56

There was that was in a movie. There's two chicks that were like, I never done, I forget which movie it was. It was uh scary, like a scary movie kind of a thing where these two white chicks are like, We never done this before, meanwhile they're a bunch of whores.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:06

But yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:07

That's how it always goes. If you think you're getting some nice innocent girl that's like, we've never done this before in the show.

unknown 1:07:15

Gaping slut.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:17

Who's gonna cheat on you with 15 people? Okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:22

Thank you for coming back.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:28

Sorry, this is the last thing, and then I will wrap up for it. Um talking about what you're saying, like when you walk in, when you're leaving a spot late at night and you see people like leaving a club, yeah, and every chick is dressed the exact fucking same. All black, yeah. I hear you're like fucking leather and this all that shit.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:43

Well, I don't even I see that. I see sometimes in the the summertime, it's all these white dresses, like they're in a Mormon fucking community. Oh, I feel like on nights out. The white dress they all dress the same too, dude. It's crazy. But like, yeah, the chicks they they shop at the same TikTok shop. I used to have a bit about it. It's like you guys all shop at the same time. But yeah, no, I hear you. The assimilation factor, and I understand that completely. Like, that's why I like living in up here, because it's like you're surrounded by like everything different shit, food, everything of that. So you're like, you know, but yeah, that's why it's like I hate some of the crock pot cream cheese that are moving here. It's like, where's the Panera? I'm like, why are you guys give me some pizas? Yeah, stop with the Panera. You can go back to your home and get Panera or Olive Garden or whatever crap. Sure. Like I never been to a Buffalo Wild Wings. Really? Never. Not once, not once. It's not good. Not that good, huh? Yeah, I never I'd never been to that. I've been to I've been to an Olive Garden. Um and then I've been to, I'm trying to think chains. We've done the Cracker Barrel, especially when I was a kid going in Florida, breakfast situations.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:45

We fuck with chilies.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:47

Oh, chilies I've been to. I fuck with chilies. Yeah, why is chilies to seem like the seems like the like Applebee's gonna mix with it?

SPEAKER_06 1:08:53

Applebee's was the big Midwest one.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:54

That's they love the Applebee's Applebee's and iHop. That's so cute. You're not Bob Evans?

unknown 1:08:59

Bob Evans.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:59

See, no, that's Ohio. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. And then Shake Shack, whatever the fuck no, steak shack shake. Steak and shake. That's Florida.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:07

Well, whenever we're on road trips, we always did cracker barrel. That's what we did too.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:11

Because when you have a family going for breakfast, there is wicked sheet. Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, the driver's off the exit. It's right off the exit.

SPEAKER_06 1:09:17

That's why culture right there.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:18

That that is they try to do a cracker barrel. I had a bit about that. They were gonna put a cracker barrel pop-up. I was like, you guys have crossed the line. Stay on your neck of the woods, babes. Do not, what are you like really? Like sawmill. I'm gonna have now Korean dumplings with fucking sawmill gravy in the middle of it.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:33

They're trying to get people to go to it, ironically.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:36

I know, exactly. That's why I can't stand this tick that's like, oh my god, and then it's a god, everything's coachella. Everything's gotta be a goddamn Coachella marketing barcode. It's gross, dude. And it's so weird because Coachella started because of Pearl Jam didn't want a ticket master involved, and now it's become a giant ticket master. We're fucked with corporate, it's everywhere. Last night was full corporate. I had my whole bits, I didn't even realize I was making fun of those people. I was like in the middle. You ever do bits in front of a crowd and you're like, oh, these are the people I'm making fun of. Yeah, these are the ones. That's where I was in the gates of hell of that. I was like making fun of like I'm like corporate jobs. You guys do corporate? I'm like, I look at them, I'm like, oh my god, you're all a bunch of CEOs.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:11

You all own it. You all own it.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:12

I'm like, I hate you people. Like, I can't, you're the reason why we're fucked. And I'm like, they had no clue. Oh God. Yeah, dude. No, never going back to Westchester ever again. Fuck that.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:22

The people who always come up to me after shows and are like, oh, I fucking loved your stuff, are always the people where I'm like, you oh no, I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:30

You're the one that liked my stuff the most. Yeah, you're yeah, you're getting frat boy, huh? I am totally the bros.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:35

Of course you are.

SPEAKER_04 1:10:36

I mean, of course, dude.

SPEAKER_06 1:10:38

But I'm like, how would you think? But they're always guys I would never want to hang out with. I know, that's so funny.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:43

You're like you got the Eminem disease. Like all the like freaking Eminem when he came out, and he's all making fun of, and all these rich kids loved him. And I was like, you know, he's talking about you guys, right? Yeah. You know, eating mom spaghetti. Yeah, eating mom spaghetti. Fucking wipe with the freaking I hated it. I hated Eminem when he first came out. I hated him. Yeah. I still hate Limp Biscuit. They could still fucking die in a fire. Yeah, no, they don't bother me. Uh, dude, well, because you're a boy from Florida. That's like, that's like that's the that's the song. That that band is like Florida.

SPEAKER_06 1:11:13

They're very Michael Good loves Limp Biscuit. Yeah, big cute.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:20

He loves Limp Biscuit, dude. But it's so cute the way he loves them because it's like again, young. It's people my age. If you're listening to Limp Biscuit, you are retarded.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:29

Nobody should listen to nobody should wake up and be like, I want to listen to some Limp Biscuits. Yeah. It's like an ironic.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:34

And you know what I'm really pissed about? They did a version of Behind Blue Eyes that I did not know. It is the worst version I have ever heard in my entire life, dude.

SPEAKER_05 1:11:42

That was the first time I heard that song.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:46

Oh my god, what a travesty. Yeah, I know. That's what that's why I can't stand. Like, I have to watch when people were like, oh, the music sucks now. I think about it. I'm like, dude, we had some fucking horrible tunes. Yeah. Savage Garden. We had so many third eye blinds. Sorry, they had one hit wonders, but I mean ridiculous goo goo dolls. That's what's popping right now. They're taking goo goo dolls, dude. I was like, are you kidding me, bro?

SPEAKER_06 1:12:11

Dude, 50s, 60s, 70s, best decades for music.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:14

Everything since has been no, they had some shit too. 50s suck too. Like fucking. I hate that pool skirt shit. Like, a fucking, I hate that shit, dude. Like music back then used to be like, Yeah, right, I'm sure, dude. Meanwhile, they're fucking yeah. She's an angel and I want to brush her hair. Yeah, exactly. And our music is like it's cold outside. Stirling! She's staying here. Yeah, back when we were a real country. Yeah, yeah. With Barry, what's his fucking oh my god, I can't stand it. What's his name? Uh uh, he's Mr. Christmas. Oh, Bing Crosby. Oh my god, I can't look at him without looking. Dude, what a monster. A monster human being. Monster human being. He is not attractive, but he also beat the shit out of his kids and his wife. Dude, big alcoholic. I can't, I can't, like every time I watch it, I get it.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:06

His music is so jolly.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:07

Yeah, that's the 50s and 40s to me. It's like you guys, that's why David Lynch, I love him so much because he's the one who took raises the veil up and being like, now you sick fucks. Nah, 50s, it's it's creepy. 50s are creepy to me.

SPEAKER_05 1:13:19

We're all alcoholics.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:20

Yeah, everyone's hiding wives and kids.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:22

You kept your problems at home. You presented yourself well in public. What's wrong with that?

SPEAKER_00 1:13:27

That's how society should function. Oh God.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:30

All right.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:30

Anyway, done. Yeah, we'll wrap.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:33

All right, besides being like I am racist at gmail.com, how the can they find you? I'm not racist. Yeah, just kidding. Maybe a little misogynist, but I like them innocent and 14.com.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:51

Oh man.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:53

Thanks for coming on the pod. Thanks. When we say this to the federal government, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:58

Uh I just want to say that just go to Israel. They'll pretend we love Jewish people. Um Israel is the is the they have the right to exist.

SPEAKER_05 1:14:11

It's always been theirs.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:17

I think October 7th is a bigger deal than 9-11.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:20

And uh the black community, I I deeply respect and appreciate everything they've contributed to American culture.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:26

Uh you round up five minutes of an apology with one.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:33

Let me just get it all done with the code.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:35

I checked their licenses before we go out on a date and uh, you know.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:39

I actually meet women at uh libraries and I I make sure that they are the kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:45

No, you will end up with a wonderful woman. You will. There's something it's just gonna fall. It's like because you're that character in the 80s movies that it's the end, it's like he's left it as lonesome, and then all of a sudden a hot chick turns and goes.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:06

Credits don't you do it about me?

SPEAKER_06 1:15:12

Five minutes at Zach Ryan Limited. That's all I got for you guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:16

Okay, Levi.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:17

Levi the White on everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:19

J Love Comedy, watch the special. You're not gonna fuck you. No one listens to this. Hey, Levi's mom, thanks for listening.

SPEAKER_05 1:15:26

Thanks for learning about weird sex stuff.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:28

Oh my god, I forgot.

unknown 1:15:30

Oh.